This paper explores a number of factors which delay opportunities for 'normal' grieving in families bereaved by murder or manslaughter. Stress arising from a child's death appears to be increased by the stigma of murder and by criminal proceedings which sometimes eclipse the anguish of bereaved family members. Two themes recur in parents' accounts: i) outrage and a sense of unique loneliness arising from the horror of the death; ii) frustration arising from failings of the criminal justice system, lack of information and loss of control over the deceased's body. The child's memory may be 'spoiled' through publicity given to the murder and through a preoccupation with the perpetrators and the 'injustice' of the courts. Spontaneous and informal grief reactions may be overshadowed by the formal agendas of police, courts and coroner's office. Evidence suggests that these procedures may threaten already fragile family relationships and that absence of sensitive support networks further frustrates opportunities for 'normal' grieving.