This is a qualitative exploration of non-professional perceptions of 'good' death. Hospice patients and the relatives of deceased patients provided story examples of 'good'/'not good' deaths which had happened to people known to them. Contributions were analysed in order to identify perceptions of what were the core features of 'good' death and how 'good' death was formulated in real life contexts. Patients provided a more limited range of features in their contributions than did relatives, suggesting divergent expectations. Of particular interest was how those 'good' death 'ingredients' were mixed in the crucible of the dying experience. Three frames of reference were identified within which participants understood death and dying--an acknowledgement of tension and paradox, contextualiztion within the life lived and an attitude of flexible realism. What emerged was a dynamic process whereby participants portrayed attempts to get as near as possible to what is desired within the often changing limitations of life. 'Good' death terminology fails to convey adequately the pragmatism and complexity of this process. 'Good enough' death may convey more appropriately that preferred goals do exist but that preferences often have to be negotiated in a context of limitation and contingency.