This article is an excursion into some arcane realms of the JLR and ALLUS databases on Westlaw and Lexis and their use for extracting statistical information about legal periodicals and articles. Aside from various issues such as citation decay, footnote density, and prolix authors, this article delves into the prestige of legal periodicals which are reflected by (and encouraged by) ranking studies, and in particular the Washington and Lee citation count study which is based on citations from the JLR and ALLCASES databases.